Gaoyou Girls 5th Birthday Celebration

Ellena, Lara, Lian, Isabella, and Sarah. To see these girls now, four years after their adoption, is to grasp a vision of hope, courage and love. It is sometimes difficult for me to balance just wanting to be a mother to my daughters, and not think of them as orphans, with the realization that the orphan crisis is only growing and that my two daughters are two of the 143 million orphans in the world. Each orphan has a name. Each orphan has beauty inside that these girls capture. Each orphan deserves to be loved and not forgotten.

The members of our adoptive group gather each year to celebrate our girls birthdays. We do not gather to focus on what would have happened. Instead we gather to focus on what is and what will be because these girls are our precious children. But I know that I can work on a professional and personal level to make sure that more children receive the blessing of family. Adoption represents less than a tenth of a percent of orphan care. While I wish everyone could experience the miracle of adoption, I also know that reality says we can't wait for that to happen. We have to ensure that the children who are without families receive its blessing in other ways. That's why I am on the board of Children's Hope Chest (www.hopechest.org). Our friend, Tom Davis, who is its President also writes a blog on these issues - http://www.tomdavis.typepad.com/.

We celebrate these beautiful little girls and the young women they are becoming. And we pray and act for the ones who are left alone.

Anna loves for us to sing, especially Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes. She pats her head whenever she wants to sing it. This was the first time she did it and I just had to capture it on video. Now she requests this song at least every few minutes throughout the day.

Anna grows more active with each day. She loves to climb things. Today she stacked up some pudding boxes from the closet just so she could reach a higher shelf. She soon learned that pudding boxes don't work very well :)

Big Week - Lian turned five and Anna walked!

Lian turned five on Thursday. We celebrated with a "Building Bash" birthday party. We had twenty children over and divided them into different work teams where they rotated around their job sites building Marshmallow Towers, a Friendship Wall, a Cranium Fort, and digging in the dirt with dumptrucks and demolishing towers that they built. It was a blast and Lian was so happy all day.

Dano and I both noted how much Lian has grown and matured over this year. She is turning into such a beautiful little girl. Last year it would have been very difficult for her to handle this kind of a party. The anniversary of her adoption last year was very difficult and with all that we've worked through and with much prayer this week, we saw such a growth in her own spirit. She had such joy yesterday and just loved being with all of her friends.

In true "Jennifer" fashion, Lian asked over breakfast what ideas I had for her sixth birthday party. "Lian," I told her, "We haven't even had your fifth birthday party, yet. Can we just enjoy this one first?" She seemed okay with that, until this morning when she told me that she would plan Anna's fifth birthday party for her. Always thinking ahead :)

It was also a big week for Anna. Last Thursday, in the midst of our Chinese luncheon for our home school, Anna took her first steps. If I can ever get my video to upload to You Tube, I will post the video of her first steps. Of course, now that Anna knows she can take a few steps by herself, she wants to be everywhere we don't seem to want her to be. The toilet has become her new favorite place and for some reason she is often found fishing in the toilet. I think we're going to have to get a lock for the toilet. And then she just gives you that sweet little smile that seems to say, "How can you be mad at a face like this?"

It has also been such a joy to see the love developing between these two little girls. Lian loves to teach her sister things and Anna is often found mimicing Lian. This was the first week that Anna said "I love you" to Lian and you should have seen the smile on Lian's face. We continue to pray that they would grow in love and friendship with each other.

The Tragic Death of Another Young Person

When we moved into our neighborhood six years ago, we knew that we wanted to get involved with the neighborhood youth. We live behind a gas station, so there is always constant activity that requires both prayer and action. Yet, we learned that you cannot expect to earn a young person's trust just because you have good intentions. It took three years of saying hello, asking their names, and just smiling at many who hung out on the corner, before we could ask their opinion as to whether or not they'd be interested in coming to a weekly BBQ at our house during the summer. For the past three years, this has proved to be the highlight of our year - hanging out with 15-40 kids (we've had four year olds come and 21 year olds come) every Thursday night. There's been no agenda...we simply spend time with the kids, offer them food, set up game and art tables, show a movie and shoot a few hoops (they're always surprised that this 35 year old white girl can actually jump). Its been a blessing to us and we've had many of our own stereotypes broken.

I'm feeling reflective and a little somber today though. In three years we have known two young people who have been shot and killed and one street worker who died of AIDS. We attended Jamal's funeral two years ago. He was 19 years old and it was only two months before the birth of his son. Billy Jean died this past summer of AIDS. On Friday morning, I read in the paper that DeChe Morrison, 14 years old, was shot and killed. Our hearts broke. DeChe had come to almost every BBQ. We hired him to mow our lawn a few times when he was trying to earn a few bucks. This past summer he seemed harder and more distant. We had difficulty talking to him, but he still came and brought friends. Now he's gone. The sad thing is that apparently there were friends with him at the time of the shooting, but they left him and didn't call anyone. No one found his body for 14 hours. Then when I called one of the teens we know and asked him if it was truly the DeChe we knew, he agreed without emotion, just said, "People get killed." Dano made the comment to me that when you spend most of your day playing Grand Theft Auto and other violent video games it is no wonder that life loses its value.

We know that there are so many factors - its not just a video game - there is the divorce factor, the lack of father figures factor, the gang factor, the poverty factor, the racism factor - but I'm also convicted of our own tendency to not want to seem like we are about the "truth" factor. When kids hear about a God who does love them, when they see they are not alone because adults show them they are valuable, when someone says hi when they pass them on the street and doesn't turn away because they don't look like them or because they might be a "thug", when they learn there is good and evil and that they have a responsibility to choose the good, rather than being told everything is up for interpretation, when they learn that actions have consequences, then I do believe we will lose less children.

Our little corner of Seattle is just one microcosm of our country. I am devastated that this little corner has known two victims of gang violence in three years - this little corner that is surrounded by many middle and upper class families.

Anna was sick today. I held her so tight today as she was crying and I just prayed for her. I prayed that she and her sister would know that they are loved unconditionally, that they would know truth and be able to stand for truth, that they would love other people, that they would be protected from evil. I do believe in the power of prayer and tonight I will say a prayer for the many children in our city, country and world who long to be prayed for and loved.

Some reflections on Lian

This blog was originally started to chronicle our journey towards Anna. I realized this weekend that I haven't said much about Lian. This week has been one in which I've marveled at the inner beauty of our nearly five year old. So I thought I would write some thoughts down.

Patient. Generous. Empathetic. Intuitive. Intelligent. Full of Wonder. These are just some of the words I could use to describe Lian. This year has been a tough one, to be honest. We've had to address a lot of issues related to her abandonment that manifested themselves in some tough behaviors. Thanks to the love of friends who challenged us to seek some help, to a wonderful attachment therapist, and many, many prayers, we are seeing true healing take place in our daughter.

Lian is our best helper. She is always wanting to help momma with cooking, cleaning, feeding Anna, planning our new home school and even stamping and labeling the many mailings I have done. And when she gets to help Daddy build our front porch stairs, dollhouse, or at his office, you should see the smile on her face.

Lian is reading voraciously now. It is amazing to see the world this is opening up to her. We think she has read every story in her children's Bible, she loves to read to her dolls and finds such joy in learning new things. Lian was like this as a baby, as well, which is ironic that Anna would rather be where the action is than curled up in a corner reading a book. We love them both.

The best part of our days is when Lian just comes up to us randomly (which seems to be every day lately)and says, "I just came over to give you a hug and a kiss." She always knows just when we need it. I keep thinking each year in her life is my favorite, but each year keeps getting better.

Christmas in Vermont

While we had a drifting of snow in Seattle a few weeks ago, nothin compares to a good ol' Northeastern storm. We took the redeye from Seattle on Thursday night into Vermont. Remind us not to do that again. The girls actually did great considering they only had about four hours of sleep that night. Lian was so excited to see snow from the plane window that she shouted to everyone, "We're in Vermont!" And she hasn't stopped talking about snow since we arrived.

My parents home is also a bed and breakfast. You couldn't ask for a more idealized version of a New England Christmas. For pictures you can check out www.villagevictorian.com. Tonight, as we walked the two blocks home on snow-packed streets from the one-person operation movie theatre in their little town of Morrisville, Dano said, "You really forget that places like this exist anymore." It's true and I wish everyone could have the chance to grow up in a town where everyone really does know your name, where historic homes remind you to be humble because so many people have gone before you, where the stillness and coldness of the air beckons you to sit in front of a warm fire and be still. It is truly a rest when we return home.


Living in the city, Lian wasn't quite sure what to do when I told her that she could actually play outside without me watching her. It is like Winter Wonderland here. Anna wasn't quite sure what to do with the snow. She tried to eat it. She sat in it. She slid in it. It wasn't until she accidentally got a snowball in her face that she realized snow was really cold and she wasn't sure if it was her thing. Lian braved the snow with gusto. She climbed the 6 foot mountain in my parent's driveway, sledded down its peak, and even braved jumping off of the top of the swingset (wish we had a picture) into a huge pile of snow. She especially liked burying mommy in the snow.

Both girls were also able to pay a special visit to their great-grandmother, Nanny. Nanny is my dad's mom and she is 92 and still as beautiful and elegant as ever. She was so thrilled to see the girls and to especially meet Anna for the first time.

It is hard to see my grandmother in a nursing home and requiring care. She is the matriarch of the family and she carries herself with such strength and grace. Every holiday was spent at her home. There were always at least 25-30 people gathered round the table for dinner. Nanny would give out orders in the kitchen and we would catch up with siblings, aunts and uncles, and cousins as we chopped and diced to her specific instructions. I guess it was chaotic, but I find that I miss those gatherings at this time of the year. I guess that is what holidays do though - they remind us of many memories while allowing us to create new ones for the future.

Happy One Month Anniversary, Anna!

It has been one month since Anna's adoption. She continues to be a joyful presence in our lives. Anna in Hebrew means grace. An in Chinese means peace and Mei means beautiful. We would both agree that she brings much peace and grace to our family. While Lian is our more introverted, thoughtful, internal processor daughter. Anna seems to be the opposite. She is definitely extroverted, spontaneous, and lets you know what she thinks. Sounds a bit like a mix of their parents :)

Here's a video of Anna laughing, which will give you a brief taste of how joyful she is.